BREAKING: 2 More People Linked To Nunes Memo And Hillary Clinton Turn Up Dead

070329-N-4965F-006 PEARL HARBOR, Hawaii (March 29, 2007) - Military working dog, Uli, a 3-year-old German Sheppard, waits for Master-at-Arms 1st Class Allan Tetreault in a security patrol vehicle designed for military working dogs during a training exercise onboard Naval Station Pearl Harbor (NAVSTA PH). Tetreault and Uli are both assigned to NAVSTA PH, Security K-9 Division, a specialized unit that provides regional security support for patrol, explosive and drug detection. U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class James E. Foehl (RELEASED)

This brave military hound is waiting for the New York Strip he always gets when he comes up with a major find. Earlier today, Manx here discovered the bodies of Nunes memo witnesses Sandy Batt and Dale Goff. Both were young, thriving interns looking to get ahead in their party when they were sucker-punched by Clinton, ending up in the precarious position of holding evidence against her.

Like most cases involving people who know too much about Hillary Clinton, Batt and Goff ended up sharing a shallow grave in a ghost-town outside of Reno. Investigators have already recovered both bodies and sent them to the county coroner, where they’ll be held for transfer to Quantico.

The FBI says Clinton is not a person of interest as of yet, as the memo is “largely hyperpartisan hyperbole that will never amount to anything,” and “not worth killing over.” It’a nice that they’ve decided who the Clintons will and won’t kill, considering they’ve left more than 250 people in graves behind them.

Several other low-level Democrat operatives have been taken into protective custody just in case. The Clintons, who say they’re retired and happily living in New York, called the allegations “preposterous” and noted that they had never met the people they supposedly murdered for “the Nunes Nothing Burger.”

We’ll keep you updated on this developing story.

About Mrs Loreli Eagleton 57 Articles
Loreli Eagleton is the wife of Flagg Eagleton. She is a stay-at-home Mom of 7 who loves to make sandwiches and does what she's told -- until she doesn't!