BREAKING: Robert Mueller Found Dead Of Apparent Suicide

Robert Mueller was found dead just moments ago in his rented Washington, DC apartment of what the coroner is calling “an obvious suicide.” Mueller’s death is being closely associated with the release of the Nunes memo, which proved Mueller is guilty of treason.

Sgt. Sandy Batt of the Metro Police says the scene was typical for a suicide. “There was a body hanging from a ceiling fan and a note written in the victim’s shaky writing,” Batt told Fox News, “We knew right away this was Mueller cashing out before the memo caught up with him.”

The memo, of course, details crimes by every Democrat serving from 2009 to the present while simultaneously exonerating all Republicans. That isn’t sitting well with the left. Liberals everywhere are crying that the memo has some sort of “political bias.” The memo came from the head of the intelligence committee. His party is irrelevant.

Batt says Mueller’s suicide note was to the point, asking for forgiveness for fabricating such lies. The Trump administration hasn’t released a statement, but a White House insider says:

“Trump won’t miss Mueller one bit. He was a trader. Thoughts and prayers to his family.”

Rumor has it that Trey Gowdy will fill in for dead Mueller.

About Mrs Loreli Eagleton 67 Articles
Loreli Eagleton is the wife of Flagg Eagleton. She is a stay-at-home Mom of 7 who loves to make sandwiches and does what she's told -- until she doesn't!