Malia Obama is officially a “person of interest” in the deaths of two Harvard undergrads. The two young girls, who police say were the “victims of a cruel prank gone horribly wrong,” died is a kiddie pool filled with broken Tide Pods.
Brent Nugent, who witnessed the prank, said:
“The crowd of kids keeping us back weren’t the types you mess with. Their parents are billionaires, Senators and…even a President.”
Asked if he was referring to Malia Obama, he replied, “Men in suits confiscated our cell phones and gave them back with today’s data wiped clean.” They may have taken the footage, but the police aren’t backing down. Cambridge Police Chief Sandy Battifston said there’s no way those responsible won’t see justice:
“They immersed those poor kids in ice-cold laundry detergent on the quad in February. They had no clothes on and they were given “Big Gulp” straws to breathe. The ME doesn’t know exactly what went wrong, but those kids suffered excruciating deaths. They would have been awake and aware for at least the first three minutes. Then it was too late.”
The two dead students haven’t been identified. The list of suspects includes some of the most powerful names in the world. It will be interesting to see if the sons and daughters of Globalist liberals actually pay for their crimes.