$4 Million And 2 Dead Bodies Found In Democrat Mayor’s Storage Unit

Moyor Stephen “Stormin'” Foreman of Goose Rapids, Missouri has been placed on the FBI’s most wanted list after a storage locker he apparently forgot to pay for was auctioned off — complete with $4 million in cash and 2 dead bodies.

Special Agent Hendrick Slurryman explained that it was a clerical error that caused the Mayor, a Democrat, to tuck tail and run:

“Steve Foreman would have never even been a suspect in the crimes we found evidence of in that locker. The bodies and money trace back to an armored car robbery in Southeast New Mexico. He had the unit on an autopay contract but his credit card expired and due to a juxtoposed number…he never got the notice in the mail.”

According to his secretary, John Lewis Prager, he first he heard of it was when it came over the police scanner in the Mayor’s office. “He suddenly had to go,” said Prager, visibly upset, “It’s the last time I’ve seen or heard from him. I’m guessing he knew what was about to happen and went to some other evil storage locker to cash out and escape.”

The FBI thinks Prager is right. Foreman reportedly has more than a dozen storage units spread across Missouri and possibly hundreds around the country. He was spotted on surveillance cameras in Hamilton leaving a unit with a bag from an armored car:

A bag that size could contain millions in $100 bills or bearer bonds. The FBI also suspects that Foreman has fake passports and various pre-planned escape routes. “Finding him won’t be easy,” said Slurryman, “but we won’t stop until we do.”

The mayor’s job in Goose Rapids will revert to Foreman’s Deputy Mayor.

About Mrs Loreli Eagleton 67 Articles
Loreli Eagleton is the wife of Flagg Eagleton. She is a stay-at-home Mom of 7 who loves to make sandwiches and does what she's told -- until she doesn't!