Marco Rubio To Resign Over Sexual Assault Charges

Little Marco will be departing the Senate and begging his family for forgiveness after a former aide came forward with a story and a piece of physical evidence proving he had assaulted her. According to a Rubio staffer:

“This just came out of nowhere. This girl shows up who couldn’t be 22-years-old talking about having blood and semen stained panties and a rape kit she had taken that night. she said she was raped and impregnated by Senator Rubio when she was about a day over 18.”

The Rubio camp has gone into complete hiding. They are making no statements and aren’t addressing the claims at all. The woman, who appears in campaign photographs from every stop on Rubio’s last tour, says he treated her like a throwaway sex doll one night, fired her and cut off all contact.

Several news outlets are holding off on the story while they corroborate. The aide who leaked the story is already out “looking for another job.”

Little Marco will always be remembered for being completely out of his depth in everything he did. From private real estate and finances to United States Senator, Rubio is a Republican in name only who needs to be gone. At least this way he can only blame himself and not decent men like President Trump and Roy Moore.

About Mrs Loreli Eagleton 67 Articles
Loreli Eagleton is the wife of Flagg Eagleton. She is a stay-at-home Mom of 7 who loves to make sandwiches and does what she's told -- until she doesn't!